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  • Mark Ricktor

Our Beliefs


From my forthcoming program A Hero’s Journey…

As we continue our journey in life, from childhood on, our realities are formed in part due to our beliefs. As we grow, we begin to integrate into our society and if you think about it our beliefs are influenced by many different sources. A large portion of this comes from our family. As the experts say that values are timeless, beliefs…not so much so as they can change as we grow and experience life. An example of this comes from my childhood. When I was in the 3rd grade, back in the early ’70s, there was this rumor going around. The big kids (a relative term) all told us this story that scared the crap out of us. They all, independently of each other, said that if you go into your bathroom and stare in the mirror (lights out of course) holding a flashlight shining up at your face, and repeat “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary” (it has to be 3 times they said or it will not work), then this monster named Bloody Mary will come out of the mirror and pull you into the mirror thus ending your life on earth.

Now reading this you may have experienced something similar. I am to understand that this is one of those stories that goes around from generation to generation. In fact, my daughter came screaming to me when she was about the same age saying “daddy I do not want Bloody Mary to get me”! As you read this now, we all know that there is no such thing as Bloody Mary and no matter what you say into the mirror, she will not pull you into the mirror – because she does not exist and it is not possible. As a kid though, NOTHING would convince us of anything different. In fact, this scared my friends and me so much that our parents started noticing that we were all acting kind of nuts. (For the younger folks this was WAY before cell phones, the internet, or computers all that stuff was from the show Star Trek – So life was a lot less complicated) As our parents finally were finally able to get us to spill the beans about this powerful evil magic we had discovered, they looked at us and kind of laughed to each other. We all received a warm hug from our mothers and a lecture about how the big kids were just teasing us. It was too late by then though, we had convinced ourselves that all of it was, in fact, true! This went on for some time, that is until my dad became involved.

My dad was a no-nonsense kind of guy. With my dad, there was no warm coddling hug. He was very mattered of fact and to the point “I want you to go in there and conjure this Bloody Mary”! Now, keep in mind this was back in the early ’70s before Google and any technology that we take for granted today. So the only way to research for the truth was an encyclopedia (if you do not know what this is, then Google it). ALSO – when my father said something was to be done, then that was it – it must be done! Knowing my fate was sealed, I made peace with my brother and sister, and made arrangements for whom would receive my worldly possession. I remember my parents sitting on the couch in our TV room, in Foster City, Ca. We had a 1/2 bathroom next to it. I tried one last plead for my life to my dad, and I was really pissed that my mom did not intervene on my behalf (after all I am her firstborn). He looked up from his paper, and looked me in the eyes with the unspoken words of “if you do not do this then you will not have to worry about Bloody Mary killing you, because I will for sure”. It actually came out with a stern “NOW”! So having made peace with my brother and sister, all worldly possessions are taken care of, I hugged my mom and dad one last time and with tears went into the bathroom to invoke Bloody Mary.

I remember entering into the bathroom and standing on the stool and looking into the mirror. I was trying to muster the courage to begin the incantation. I think I broke into a sweat and started to cry as I was convinced that Bloody Mary was just on the other side of the mirror just waiting for her latest victim. I must have taken a really long time because I remember my dad calling after me “are you dead yet”? and my mom yelling “Stop That”! to which my dad yelled, “get on with it”! So I started – Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary…I was starting to cry and shut my eyes – my young brain was not ready to watch the carriage that was about to happen…I opened my eyes – No Bloody Mary! My dad called in and asked, “What happened”? Nothing – I replied. He said, “do it again”. So I did and the same result – nothing happened. When I came out after the last time, he was right outside the door with a warm smile on his face and said: “nothing happened because it is just a fake story that has gone around for years”. In my 3rd grade mind, I remember thinking well why didn’t you just tell me that?! He knew exactly what I was thinking too because he said: ” you wouldn’t have believed me, you had to face the fear on your own”. And he was right!

So what did I learn from this experience? First, our beliefs are developed from our milieu as we grow up and continue into adulthood. Yes, they do evolve over time, however, we also get stuck because of them. Let’s suppose for a moment the above example from my childhood had gone unchallenged and I went through life believing in the Bloody Mary story. Imagine just how my life would have been affected by this. I probably would not allow mirrors in my house, and anyone who was named Mary would be under suspicion. Thank goodness for my dad and pushing me past this obstacle. Think about it though, how many of our beliefs keep us stuck in fear, or not able to take any action at all?

If you feel like you want to take some a moment to start something new in your life, then I am here to support you. click the link below, this will put you in touch with me and we can chat in a complimentary session together.

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