• Mark Ricktor

What Will Be Different

In my last blog post, I told the story of how, as a single parent, I woke up one day and realized I had lost my sense of identity (outside of being a single parent).

This is a subject that is not new to single parents. Whenever I tell this story I usually get the same reaction. Wide eyes and "me too"!!!!! So we as single parents have a lot on our shoulders. We are "the everything" parent - cook, beautician, finance manager, taxi service, IT support...you get the picture. NOW with the virus making everything even more fun, we are couped up inside all day - so add a teacher to the list as well! It is enough to make one a little or a lot stir crazy!! For some of us there is no pause button either - is there? "Oh you are in the middle of a SIP order - too bad your bills are due, your kids are missing there friends - too bad they can't go to see them in person, oh you can't go to work or God forbid you're furloughed - too bad your rent is do"!!!! it's enough to make one crazy. So my question is (and I pray this is seen as an opportunity to connect to at least process with each other) How are you handling this? Is this getting you further away from you?

Believe it or not, you do have a choice. Now, of course, you and I alone do not have the authority to lift the SIP order. We do, however, have the power to choose how we approach this. Imagine this is a journey. The SIP is a crossroads in this journey. You can either choose to go one way and take the path of reaction. Letting outside people and forces choose how you respond. Leading to further isolation and frustration. OR - you can choose the other way which the path or and be proactive. This path leads to you choosing to control what you can. changing your mindset, using this time to learn, gain clarity, and grow, so that when the SIP is lifted you have a plan for the new reality that is facing us all.

The next logical question I get is "with everything in my life - how the hell do I do this"??? That is, in fact, the first step - asking questions. Usually to someone who has experienced similar circumstances. I know for me, finding a guide or mentor changed my life. I was still stressed and had a million things to juggle and deal with (my ex was LESS THAN helpful), but at least I had a plan. I started being proactive - I chose my path! That is empowering I can testify to that, and I encourage you to do and experience the same.

STOP BEING REACTIVE you are giving away your power!!

Here is a suggestion to get you moving forward

Step 1 - Start Journalling - this is a good way to vent and process

Step 2 - Start journaling your gratitude - this gets your brain to relive the good stuff

Step 3 - Meditate (if that feels too woo-woo - close your eyes and count your breaths for 5 mins.)

Step 4 - Move your body - Yoga is perfect for this (especially during SIP)

Step 5 - Random Action of Kindness - This can be as simple as smiling at someone.

These five steps are based on evidence-based research from one of my favorite authors Shawn Achor! Look him up!

This is my passion and I want you to reach out to me so you know you have someone who has been in your shoes and dedicated to helping you navigate this journey

Fill out the form below - and we will start the process - We will spend 2 hours where you can process, vent, and be heard...and I will listen.

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